How to Find Your Why and Why is it so Important

I think finding your “WHY” reasons are more important than setting goals themselves.

If there is one article you read here be sure it’s this, then make it a must to do the exercises. When I understood the topic of finding you deep reason why we do things, it change my life, just like it will yours if you take it seriously. The real reason why people start any goal such as body transformation, only to give up not far from when they started can come down to many things. However, one of the most important factors is that they really didn’t have or have forgotten exactly ‘why’ they are attempting their goals. Have you figured out your ‘why’ factor yet?

What fuels REAL desire to transform then? Answer … EMOTIONS

Find your “why” – the strong reasons (that cause the emotions), and you will find the motivation and how to quite easily. When you understand the real reasons why you would go for a goal, it creates energy in motion (e-motion) which pulls you towards taking more action and towards its attainment. Strong reasons makes for strong action.

Why is it exactly that you want to transform your body by losing weight and/or gaining muscle? When I ask most people this question the first response I’ll get is to look good, feel better or be fit. Great, everyone wants those things. No, what I’m talking about is something deep, meaningful and specific to you as to why you want to transform your body.

Think really hard, really deep down as to why you want to transform. Isn’t it the pain of not being able to fit in your old clothes any more, maybe it’s the fact that you feel embarrassed to go topless at the beach or maybe it’s the fact that you don’t want to be overweight for your wedding day and then have to look back at your photos like that for the rest of your life.

Our Twin Driving Forces: WHY we do everything we do!

Here’s the thing, everything we do in life is driven by these top level emotions – pleasure and pain, and guess what they’re not opposites. Let me repeat everything you do is to both avoid pain and gain pleasure at some level, and this notion has existed since the beginning of human existence.

Let me explain, back in the prehistoric days of humans at a deep level man was able to subconsciously recognise that a sabre tooth tiger would eat them and they would respond by running away to try and avoid the pain and retain the pleasure of being alive. Conversely, whenever a potential animal was around ready to be hunted for food the brain would subconsciously go into auto-pilot and be drawn to gaining the pleasure of eating, and avoiding the pain of being starving. This skill is such a valuable one to have that it evolved through human existence and has become a subconscious thing for all of us (i.e. you don’t have to think about it).

Let’s cut to today, we all have those same response mechanisms inside our minds. However, when it comes to transforming or losing weight the greatest danger we have is being embarrassed, fearful of failure, fear of what people think, rejection, etc. Instead of linking physical pain to getting a bite from a tiger the brain has linked up the pain from going to the gym and having a workout, or eating healthy foods and associating it with being tasteless, and we try and avoid the pain. Conversely, the moment some “nice tasty” junk food is around these days we link gaining pleasure with the experience of eating it.

Now, one of the real reasons “why” most people want to lose weight is because they feel pain from being at a certain level with their bodies. Through that pain they want to arrive to the feeling of pleasure from being leaner, stronger and more attractive. Now it’s those two forces that depending on how and what you focus on will dictate what action you take towards achieving your goals.

Let me elaborate. What if you linked going to the gym with the pain of a workout or fear of failure, and linked staying at home and scoffing down a pizza and beer with mates with pleasure? Do you think you’d make the decisions necessary that would lead you to a better body? Probably not.

Conversely, what would potentially happen if you continually focused on the pain of being overweight, but at the same time focused on the pleasure you would feel once you hit the gym? Don’t you think you’d be more inclined to taking the steps necessary to getting a better body?

You see where you focus your pain and pleasure on dictates what you do, and learning this concept is truly empowering. This is the basic explanation of pain and pleasure and I’m sure if you think about it you could think of quite a few real reasons why you do everything you do, whether it be to avoid pain, or gain pleasure.

Just try and ensure you attach the right reasons to the actions you take, because what you attach to an action is a choice of yours as well. The beauty of this is that you can actually choose what pain and pleasure you focus on with every action you take. Once you grasp this concept, it’s super powerful and can drive you towards achieving any goal in life.

It’s Your Turn

Now it’s your turn find out exactly what will drive you to transform. I need you to think deeply of the real reason ‘why’ you want to transform your body. What pain is it that you’re experiencing from having the body that you have and what pleasure do you want to get from transforming it?

Think hard and deep and if you come up with the answer such as “I just want to be fit and look good” then ask yourself this, why do you want to be fit and look good? Is it really to just be fit and look good or can we dig deeper? Is it to stop feeling fat and look more attractive to your partner or opposite sex? Is it to look awesome for your beach holidays? Is it so you will look sexy in that fancy slim line dress? Is it to be able to play with the kids or is it to be able to play your favourite sport?

We ALL have a ‘why’ it’s just a matter of finding it and continually remembering it. Honesty is the best policy here, so open up to yourself and be as specific and honest as you can.

Action exercise: Finding your ‘why’

  1. Write down the top 5 most pleasurable reasons why you want to transform your body? These should be specific to your life.
  2. Then, write down top 3 most painful things that will happen or continue if you don’t change your body and achieve your body transformation goals?
  3. Once you have found those reasons, ensure you never forget them. Even include you top 5 most pleasurable reasons in your goals.

Here is a real life example. As a former client of mine, Theresa’s story is one of true inspiration. At the time she was at the young age of 50. She helps run a family business and has the responsibilities of a grandma, yet she still managed her life, exercise and great nutrition so that she could become the fittest she had ever been. This not only included losing 15kg, but also included various physical challenges, running many 5-15 kilometre fun runs and a one-time Tough Mudder.

No excuses for Theresa, as we clearly defined the reasons why she was embarking on a health and fitness plan. She knew that transforming her body would allow her to have the pleasure of being able to more freely play with her grand kids, be more active in doing the things that she loved such as exercise and even just be able to lift up a cup of coffee without the pain of arthritis. She was also able to drastically reduce the amount of medication and needles she had to take which had made her life so much more pleasurable.

What pain was she thinking of if she didn’t take massive action? Well, her Rheumatoid Arthritis was a huge reason why she had to get fit. Where most would use that as an excuse, she used it as a reason to take action. Having to take increased medication, being embarrassed of being overweight and not being able to play with her grand kids where all clear and painful scenes that she didn’t want to be a part of. It was her ability to associate not exercising and eating healthy with massive pain that drove her to success.

The Moment of Truth

Decision dictates our destiny and you can decide right now to change the way you look, feel and ACT. WHY do you want a better body? WHY do you want to lose weight? WHY do you want to fit in the slim line dress? WHY do you want to look good with your top off? WHY do you want to be more attractive to partners? Start getting serious with yourself and peal the layers of the onion to find that deep reason why you want that goal.

Then make a decision that change is must! Next time you decide to skip a workout or over eat on indulgences, remind or ask yourself the the questions of why you are going for your goals. If you did the exercise above, you will have established your WHY’s. Then decide to take action towards your goals instead. Once again if you link the pleasure of having a better body with having the workout or eating clean you are going to be more inclined to stick to your goals, instead of attaching the pain to the workout or healthy eating and not obligating yourself.

It’s your decisions that create the difference between succeeding and failing. Decide specifically why you want your new body, and why you just can’t live with your current one and then start taking massive action today. Ultimately, it’s those moments of decision on what you associate pain and pleasure too that will shape your future body and life.


As a Trainer and Coach for over 10 years now, I've helped many people reach their goals as well as achieve my own including having lost 35kg. I'm my very own guinea pig when it come to achieving a fitter, healthier life and now I'm here to help you. Start by signing up to the Really Really Fit newsletter, Free Book and Video training that will change your mindset and life.

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